Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
