It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
