2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize