I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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