just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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