Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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