Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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