bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
