with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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