it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
