please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
