All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come share oat with me in your robe
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
