But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
