dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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