My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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