Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
did i walk over a car last night?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
