I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
