Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
