dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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