i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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