R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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