she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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