I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
