The maid of honor just puked.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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