I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
