so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
