I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
