the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
