He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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