Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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