I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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