So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
