She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
