I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
