yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
