Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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