We're facebook friends in real life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
