Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
