There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
