i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize