Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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