someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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