Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
