i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize