You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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