He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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