I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
