I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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