end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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