dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
