And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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