I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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