ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
