Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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