I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
