shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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