So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
